We’ve all been there. Standing in front of a group, whether it’s five people or fifty, our hearts racing, palms sweating, and minds running a marathon of “What ifs.” What if I mess up? What if they don’t like me? What if I forget everything? Public speaking, for many, feels like a tightrope walk with the whole world watching.
But here’s the thing – the fear, the anxiety, the self-doubt – they might just be your best friends in disguise. Let’s talk about something called cognitive dissonance. Fancy term, right? But it’s something you’ve probably felt more often than you realise.
Understanding Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance is that uncomfortable, gut-wrenching feeling we get when our actions don’t align with our beliefs. For example, you believe you’re a confident person, but when it’s your turn to speak up, you freeze. Or you might think of yourself as someone who values knowledge and growth, yet avoid speaking opportunities because they make you anxious. That clash – between how you see yourself and how you act – that’s cognitive dissonance.
The beauty of cognitive dissonance is that it’s a signal. It’s your mind’s way of telling you, “Hey, something’s not quite right here. Let’s figure it out.”
Embrace the Discomfort
Most people run from that feeling. It’s uncomfortable, so they avoid situations that cause it – like public speaking. But here’s the twist: what if you didn’t run? What if, instead, you leaned into that discomfort? What if you saw it as a guidepost, directing you toward areas where you can grow?
When you feel that pang of dissonance, it’s an opportunity. It’s your chance to realign your actions with the person you want to become. If you believe in your ability to communicate effectively, then push through that fear. The more you do, the more those conflicting feelings will start to harmonise. It’s like tuning an instrument – the more you practice, the more beautiful the sound.
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
— Joseph Campbell
The Power of Awareness
Awareness is the first step. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. So, the next time you feel that knot in your stomach when faced with a speaking opportunity, don’t ignore it. Instead, ask yourself: What belief is this discomfort challenging? Do I truly believe I’m a good speaker? If not, why? What’s holding me back?
By being honest with yourself, you create a path forward. You identify the gaps between who you are and who you want to be, and then, you do the work to bridge them.
Action Steps: Bridging the Gap
- Acknowledge Your Fears: Write down what scares you about public speaking. Is it the fear of judgment, of failure, or of looking foolish? Putting your fears into words takes away some of their power.
- Challenge Your Beliefs: Ask yourself if your fears are rooted in reality or if they’re just stories you’ve been telling yourself. Are you truly a terrible speaker, or is that just a narrative you’ve adopted over time?
- Take Small Steps: Start small. Speak up in a meeting, volunteer to present in a safe, supportive environment, or even practice in front of a mirror. Each small victory chips away at that dissonance.
- Reflect and Reassess: After each speaking opportunity, reflect on how you felt and what you learned. Notice how your feelings shift over time as you gain more experience.
Turning Cognitive Dissonance into Confidence
Cognitive dissonance doesn’t have to be your enemy. In fact, it can be one of your greatest allies in your journey to becoming a confident speaker. It’s a signal that you’re on the cusp of growth, that you’re challenging old patterns and stepping into a new version of yourself.
So the next time you feel that tension rise before you speak, smile. You’re not running away from it anymore. You’re facing it head-on, using it as a tool to become the speaker – and the person – you were meant to be.
Closing Thought
Remember, improvement in public speaking, or in anything, begins with awareness. It begins with the willingness to face discomfort and the courage to grow from it. Embrace the dissonance, lean into it, and watch as it transforms into confidence, one word at a time.
If you’re ready to take the next step in your journey, join our Believe in Greatness Public Speaking Masterclass for Professionals In London. Together, we’ll turn your fears into fuel, and help you become the confident, compelling speaker you were meant to be. Don’t wait—your voice deserves to be heard!
